I met Aaron the night of Dad’s funeral. The holidays will also stir this up. I recall the last Thanksgiving dad and I had together. We were at my brother Troy’s place. We sat in the sunniest place in the room together on the small couch and Dad sat with his legs stretched out in my lap. I’m so grateful that I sat there with him. I’m so grateful for the memory.

Changing my relationship with Aaron and losing that gift/support that carried me the night of Dad’s funeral until now re-released some unprocessed grief. But as I think of it, I don’t know if it will ever fully go away. I guess that is okay. I miss you Dad.

My heart deeply goes out to everyone that has lost a parent, a child or someone close during the holidays. I know it’s a hard time. May we all get through this time while we experience growth, heartache and togetherness or non togetherness. If you don’t have anyone to be with today or over the holiday season, call me. I will be there for you.

AND, Nana will send leftovers. I will make a plate for you at my table. 


Hello Full Taurus Moon!

If you know me or have seen me in the past few years, you probably know about the timeline slip that happened to me after my father died. If you aren’t aware - the grief was so painful for me I had to evacuate this time line and my body/self went into cruise control. I discovered this only later - through conversation with my beautiful friend Leo. You can imagine how crazy that was! Wild ride! I had no interest in existing in my typical time line and people weren’t hearing me! I thought I was fucking drowning.

Snap to the beginning of my healing process, recognizing the depth of my grief and starting to grab hold of joys in my typical timeline and coming back. Wow. Okay, I’m coming back.

I missed the burn this year, and I knew I had to get out to Austin Psych Fest. My friend Sabella reached out and everything aligned. It just felt RIGHT, and I knew I needed to go. I went - and goddamn. The peeps were showing UP for it and everyone brought their A game. 

Minor/ Simple Rehashing of the days - 

THURSDAY: Angel Olsen and opening party at the Line (mixing it up and meeting all the good people)

FRIDAY: MERCURY REV!, Kikagotchu Moyo (I WILL learn how to say this, translates into “Geometric Shapes” from Japanese)> What did we even do after this?? Also peeps, did you know the term “drug rug” is regional? For the pullover, striped Mexican sweater thing. No one knew what this was! Shout out to my boy Steven.

Pouring into SATURDAY, I was TRANSPORTED. I have to bring up a schedule to even try to recall the order of events.

We started with (yes, I missed Chelsea Wolfe at the damn church and this is something I will have to live with) Black Angels (RIPPED IT!!! Killer set!!! wowza) > John Cale > (I’m an idiot also missed Windhand ((Wes got his face torn off))  > Tobacco (Like an Aphex twin little brother type? FUN!) > BEAK (Omg whatever!!! DJ from Portishead’s project. NUTS!!!! “I’m peaking now. No, now. No, it’s now.”) > Deantoni Parks (GET ON THIS RIGHT NOW!!! We lucked into this because Jake is a GENUIS and knew to send us to the drummer of John Cale just to “check it out” and we were there. About 25 people in the room? This guy, man. SLAYS. slayed. Drummer, solo project, feels break beat hip hop, full psychedelic influence and creating revolutionary music. CLICK HERE. His set up for this set had a mirrored LED screen with him in the middle, just flowing out sounds like a channel. He oooozzzzeeeedd cool. gotddamn! get onthis.) > ELECTRIC CHURCH DJ SET with JAKE, MIGUEL and AL LOVER. Okay, now I’m breaking out of parentheses. First of all, The Electric Church is a little speak easy with a Lost Sugar Disco vibe. They cool. Maybe some loose ends to tie up, like GET A DONATION JAR, but they got the heart. The vibe was right and rock and roll well and alive. Grab a cup and head over there. DJ set was FIRRRE. Jake from the Black Angels got a hella collection and rollin with Miguel and Al Lover, was a non stop party. GIVE ME A BREAK

Couldn’t even recall for a second, but after this we went back to my boy Blake’s house, and I’ll tell ya, these kids were the kind of gifts that keep on giving. Hearts cracking open, dance parties ensued and I couldn’t ask for a better group of friends to just get dropped into. PRAISE. PRAISE!!

SUNDAY: (Oh wait, Did Sabella and I open this night filming a video for levitation with Charles driving around town in an old black muscle car? Yeah. we did) Dinosaur Jr.> Kurt Vile and the Violators (a pleasant surprise that this was so good! Grunge/Country - ROCK AND ROLL. Guitarist from Dinosaur Jr. came out to join them.) > Head over to Barracuda and get SLAMMED with> The KVB> A Place to Bury Strangers (SLAMMED ME AGAINST THE WALL and thanks for turning me onto this band Leon all those years ago, like what even in the fuck) and then all back to Blake’s place again to dance out the night until 6 in the morning.

Is it OVER YET? Nope -  Party decided not to stop when Peter Hook and The Light just happened to be playing on MONDAY night with New Order albums and Joy Division (TED! We made it!!) . They played all the hits. Thought it would be calming and feel normal, bring me back to earth, but NOPE. They brought the A game, like everyone else. Don’t know why I expected any less. Canceled my flight and stayed another day to ease back into the reality. Hung at Ted’s (a great newer local I met who just happened to be at all the best shows - same taste in music) and listened to records then  back to Jake’s Bar, The 13th Floor (CHECK THIS PLACE OOOUUUTTTT if you are in Austin, link HERE. Place has got it GOIN ON. Rad, hip scene, great aesthetic and good good music. Owners and bartenders are solid. Some rad guys from a coffee company, Dark Matter (link), rolled through and bought the whole place pizza! Two little pop up shows at the bar then called it a night).

Chilled TUESDAY with a beautiful brunch with yet another group of killer people (WHAT IS UP ARIANA), and flew home hella early WED morning only to relax, chill and catch Moon Duo with Aaron in Philly. Set up was nuts, played inside a screen cube being projected on with psych imagery as well as the musicians silhouettes. Grabbed a T and a record, got it signed and headed home.

Flight home for me was tough. Thank god for this album, (a bow to you Jayson). I cried before I left and felt like a total baby. Heart freaking cracked and info and healing just pouring in there. Led to a full day yesterday of sobbing and a gentle altar setup, lighting and magic and a grounding shower. Had the perfect dinner with Nana and Jaden (who I hadn’t seen for a week and a half. Damn he’s a good kid). Then home for a long talk with my partner, opening up into change and allowing for full evolution and growth. 

I’m on a ride man, and I’m here to heal.

If you stayed with me this long to read this, I’ll treat you with some links to some songs and sets. Thanks for being on this journey with me. We’re doing it. I’m here for IT. NO MATTER HOW HARD it hurts and how FUCKING BEAUTIFUL it is sometimes. I’m FUCKING HERE FOR IT. You can count on me. Like my girl Tessa says man, “Put me in coach.”

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